…finding a deeper sense of Self, Meaning & Connection through the Power of Conscious Transitioning…

How connected do you feel to the Sacred in the every-day flow of your life? To your personal place in this world? And to the “meaning” of it all??

If your answer is something along the lines of “incredibly, deeply, completely” - please do comment on this blog and let us know your Secret! Really! We need to hear your Voice!!

If, however, you are still scratching your head, wondering what I’m even talking about, or if you felt a wave of inexplicable or perhaps all too familiar sadness, disconnect & emptiness upon seeing these questions - I invite you to read on and join me as we embark upon a Vision Quest to find new meaning in transitions and bring them all back home…

Perhaps I should prepare you a little for what lies ahead, so you may decide if you actually want to follow along…or if you’d rather stay within the comfort of the world as you know it.

After all, there is a reason why I am on this Quest - but you will have to find your own.

WHY “SHOULD” WE SEEK RITES OF PASSAGE?

I have always struggled with the seeming meaninglessness of life, the daily grind, the lack of depth and connection, the feeling of being lost out at sea without a compass or landmark to steer by…

It’s taken me a long time to finally get a sense of being “at Home” in myself, in this world;

first, through desperately attempting to force a concept of meaningfulness, of a personal “mission”, onto the structures of my life;

and later, thankfully, by letting go of the constructs and just allowing myself to be swallowed by the hollow emptiness of life as we tend to live it, to let it chew me up and spit me out, right into the Sacred Heart of my deepest Longing - into the Art of Being: Experience, Acceptance and Surrender…

Recently, the thought of “Rites of Passage” found itself into one of my blog-posts (“Embracing the Betwixt & In-Between”).

It really struck me how bereft our present-day culture is of a truly grounded concept of “Passage”, or “Transition”, as reflected in socially accepted & celebrated rites - and how much we could truly benefit from reviving these ancient traditions within our modern context.

We do still see remnants of such rites, especially in religious circles, but they tend to be mere vestiges, mostly stripped of their original intent and significance - and, dare I say it, their power to impact and change us for real.

From there, my whole perspective suddenly shifted to seeing the potential for “Rites of Passage” on offer everywhere and all around us…and how, if used consciously and with intention, these everyday moments, mundane or life-altering, brief or drawn out, could enrich our lives with a much deeper, fuller understanding of ourselves as part of and connected to the Sacredness of Life.

I wonder how much it might have helped me through my early struggles with my feelings of disconnect & not-belonging, had I known some sense of conscious transitioning between different phases of life experiences…

**WHAT EXACTLY ARE RITES OF PASSAGE? AND WHY ARE THEY SO SIGNIFICANT?**

Anthropologically speaking, various forms of Rites of Passage can be found in pretty much all traditional cultures, across all continents. They signify a Passing over a Threshold, a Transitioning, a Graduation from one state of being into another.

Coming Of Age rituals - marking the transition into the responsibilities of adulthood, of taking one’s place as a part of the greater community - traditionally had a special place in any tribe or culture, as did Birth and Death.

Perhaps the most obvious places where we can still find this celebration of “crossing thresholds” (with at least some conscious awareness of their deeper meaning) in our contemporary societies, are our common ceremonies of marriage, funerals and college graduations.

Although (if we look closely enough) we can find these mile-markers everywhere, as in baby showers, baptisms, etc, their true significance to our inner being typically gets lost in the superficial.

Rites of Passage are typically broken down into Three Main Phases -

Separation (from the familiar)
Transition (growth, transmutation, expansion, change)
Return (integration, taking up our new role/self in society).

Customarily, the “Initiate” is separated from family, tribe & familiar surroundings, often being sent out into the Wilderness or confronted with a range of tests, and has to adapt to and survive a different set of circumstances than what they’ve known.

They get to test different abilities, like their inner strength, knowledge, adaptability, resourcefulness, willingness to face their fears, listen to inner guidance etc. Being thrown into the unfamiliar opens up new portals of perception and invites growth & expansion.

Eventually, our Initiate gets to return home, now needing to find a way to integrate their newly acquired inner skills & awareness into a life and community that did not change along with them…

And - this is as far as I’ll dip into the realm of the scholarly. We will now be venturing out into my own musings, contemplations and, knowing how my mind tends to operate, most likely out on a tangent or two.

You have been warned - pass this Threshold at your own risk, equipped with your own Discernment, Judgment Calls and the most Wide Open Mind and Curiosity you have on hand! They are your only requirements needed to “succeed” on this Journey!

We are now crossing over into the Wilderness of the Right Brain Hemisphere, domain of the Creative Mind, where anything goes and where we leave all rules and regulations behind - with any luck, we shall not return the same person we were before starting out on this sojourn…

WHERE CAN WE FIND RITES OF PASSAGE IN OUR DAILY LIVES?

Still with me?

All right then - let’s start picking at some threads of thought & see where they may lead us…

The Big, the Bold, the utterly Obvious…

If you’re reading this post around the time of its publication in 2022, you’ve just made it through an extraordinary past couple of years…and my first leap of thought won’t come as much of a surprise;

after all, we have just traversed one big, bold, glaringly global Rite of Passage that joined most of earth’s human population in one, unified (if not exactly unifying) experience of Initiation…through trials & tribulations. We are, in fact, still traversing it & shall probably continue to do so for several years to come.

I don’t think I could have come up with a more obvious & clear example to illustrate the different phases of a traditional Rite of Passage, and how they can and do affect us and shift our whole experience of life.

Let’s take a closer look:

The ominous year of 2020 was a time of major global disruption, shifts and changes - and creative ways of adapting to a whole new level of crazy.

RIGHT HERE, WE HAVE PHASE ONE OF OUR “RECIPE FOR RITES OF PASSAGE” IN ACTION: A SEPARATION FROM THE FAMILIAR WAY OF LIFE, OUR JOBS, FROM PEOPLE IN OUR COMMUNITY AND, IN SOME CASES, EVEN FROM OUR FAMILY.

Why is this stage so crucial?

SIMPLE - THERE IS NO GROWING EDGE IN THE COMFORT ZONE OF THE FAMILIAR!

THE FAMILIAR DOES NOT CHALLENGE THE PERSONA-IDENTIFICATION, THE MASKS WE HAVE BEEN HIDING BEHIND.

THE FAMILIAR DOES NOT ASK QUESTIONS LIKE, “WHAT ELSE IS POSSIBLE?”

The familiar is a place we stay in to be molly-coddled into feeling like we fit in, like life is predictable and safe, like the parameters of the known offer a welcome buffer to the uncertainty of everything “out there” we don’t know.

The familiar seduces us into living our lives in predictable ruts, to stop asking questions, to settle for the status quo.

WHEN WE GET TAKEN OUT OF LIFE AS WE KNOW IT, OUR SENSES HAVE TO START COMING BACK ONLINE. WE HAVE TO BECOME ALERT AND PRESENT, WILLING TO ADAPT AND LEARN AND GROW AND THINK NEW THOUGHTS.

Like Initiates on a Vision Quest alone out in the wilderness, we have to come face to face with the Unknown; we have to hone our senses, ready to respond to the needs of our unpredictable circumstances; we have to come to terms with our deepest fears, our insecurities, our vulnerabilities, our sense of mortality.

We are presented with an invitation to turn to a deeper sense of Purpose, a Higher Guidance, a new level of Trust in ourselves, in Life, in a Higher Power.

When our old facades no longer fit in with our new surroundings, we have to start asking the deeper questions, plodding the deeper resources available within us.

In other words - we get a chance to come alive in a whole new way!

And isn’t that exactly what happened during the lockdown?

So many were forced to ask - or finally had the time to ask themselves —

Who am I outside of my job?

Am I really happy in the life I have created?

What else is possible?

How can I survive and thrive in this strange, new world?

I know of so many people who were finally able to allow themselves the full realization of how incredibly unhappy they had been in their jobs, their lives;

who finally had the leisure and courage to ask themselves if there was perhaps something else they’d rather do;

who finally had the time to focus on their passion projects, their personal entrepreneurial business ventures, their long neglected or never explored creativity;

who came to get a whole new sense of priority and what holds true importance for them…

All because suddenly, without warning, the rug of constraints and structures, of safety-nets and limitations, of life as we knew it, had been pulled away from under us - exposing dust and cobwebs and other inconvenient debris of the psyche shoved out of sight for so long… but also a host of shiny treasures long thought lost…

PHASE TWO CHALLENGES US TO RISE TO THE OCCASION, TO LET OUR LIGHT SHINE ALL THE WAY - OUT INTO THE WORLD AND ONTO PATHWAYS WE PERHAPS NEVER THOUGHT OF EXPLORING, OR DIDN’T THINK WE’D GET THE CHANCE TO EXPLORE (UNTIL PERHAPS RETIREMENT).

How many of you reading this are right now reflecting on the major shifts and changes within your own lives, your own perception within the last two years? What has been irrevocably altered about the way you see and know yourself or live and perceive your life?

Do you feel like you are an expanded, upgraded version of self, or do you perhaps still feel the contraction of fear and uncertainty triggered by the challenges and precariousness of this time?

I sincerely hope it is the former!

There has been a trend for a while now - born of necessity but also of shifting values - of drastically simplifying our lives.

So many people are either forced to give up their cozy homes and the security of work, or they voluntarily choose to downsize, embracing a nomadic or back to basics lifestyle, living out of RV’s or vans or cars…talk about a major transition!

Our priorities are shifting.

The yearning for freedom and sovereignty and following our dreams and passions seems to be awakening within us stronger & louder than ever.

Do you hear your soul whisper when everything gets still and quiet around you?

How are you reaching out to meet it?

Which Visions are you following, and what are the steps you are taking to make your Dreams become reality?

KEEP ASKING THESE KIND OF QUESTIONS AND LET THEM NURTURE A SENSE OF EXCITEMENT AND ADVENTURE AND POSSIBILITY WITHIN YOU AS WE NOW EMBRACE PHASE THREE OF OUR JOURNEY.

How are we integrating our new perspectives, our reshaping versions of self into a life that may be tempting us to fall back asleep, as things around us are pretending to return back to “normal enough”?

What do we do with this concept of “normal” once we have started questioning its meaning and worth to us?

How are we showing up now - to life, to work, to friendships and relationships that may not have taken the same internal shifts and turns that we did?

Are we willing to stick out, to be different, to claim this new rendition of self as ours?

Are we ready to let some things and people go, to let new things in, to make room for uncertainty and to allow some space for surprises?

So many questions to guide us on our way…

How about the less big, the less bold, the not quite so obvious?

How can we keep this awareness of our Growing Edge alive even when our outer lives have calmed back down into a sense of routine and safety?

This is my current top favorite:

How about daring to leave behind the familiar zone of our beliefs and preconceived notions?

How about opening up to a vast horizon of differing viewpoints and perspectives?

Can we face this kind of challenge without our burdensome armor of righteousness, defensiveness, dismissiveness, arrogance and anger?

Edgy enough, for starters?

If the past two years have made anything completely impossible to ignore, it is our need to start listening and seek common ground, rather than finding fault in differing ways of thinking.

And we can practice this in much less obvious places than on the world-stage of our countless trigger-happy topics;

how about just becoming extra present and curious next time you meet someone from a different walk of life, with different experiences and outlooks than yours?

Next time you feel your hackles rising when confronted with a seemingly opposing viewpoint - how about taking a deep breath, dropping your tense shoulders & defensive stance, and just being willing to listen; to truly listen, without groping for a retort, without the urge to agree or disagree…just noticing the degree to which you are feeling threatened by…oh wait…a mere opinion??

Agreeing with everyone is not what we’re aiming at. We get to have our beliefs and preferences, just like everyone else.

But how about trying to get to know the actual person better, perhaps understanding why hey think and feel the way they do, without feeling the need to judge them for it or make them wrong…just so we can feel right?

How about acknowledging that we may not have the full picture, the complete and only version of "truth", and that there may yet be room for improvements and extensions in our box of concepts and understanding? How about daring to think "outside the box" once in a while?

How about approaching any conversation as a gift, an opportunity to widen our horizons, be it because we actually found some delicious (or even rather unpalatable) morsels of food for thought, or an insight into the human psyche (both, our “adversary's” and our own!), or just for the pleasure of sharing a transcendental moment of utter open-mindedness and non-attachment…

How much more “edgy” and “spiritual” than this does it get?

And - don’t we have the makings of a sweet and rich little Rite of Passage right here, within the easy reach of our next open, honest, truly un-biased conversation?

It doesn’t need to be more complicated than this!

There are opportunities to step out of our familiar comfort zones, to let ourselves be stretched and re-shaped and opened up, everywhere we look!

Try exploring the liminal spaces between the known and unknown next time you

take a trip or journey

study, practice or try out something new

find yourself facing your fears, your doubts, your insecurities

enter a new relationship or friendship

get your heart broken

move homes

change jobs…

WHERE, IN YOUR LIFE, CAN YOU MEET THE LIMINAL, THE SACRED, THE UNEXPECTED - AND HOW COULD IT CONTRIBUTE TO DEEPENING YOUR SENSE OF SELF, TO FINDING YOUR ROOTS, YOUR PLACE IN THIS WORLD, TO STRENGTHENING YOUR CONNECTION TO THE DIVINITY INHERENT IN YOUR EVERY-DAY PRACTICE OF LIFE?

If you really want to find meaning and purpose in human existence - please keep looking for and asking these kind of questions; keep reaching for Life with all your senses wide open!

Because, after all…

**LIFE ON EARTH IS ONE BIG, FAT, UNAVOIDABLE RITE OF PASSAGE - AND IT WILL HAVE ITS WAY WITH US, WHETHER WE LIKE IT, ENJOY IT, SEEK IT OR NOT.**

My advice - make this journey as conscious as possible and try to have fun with it, as much as you can…

"Reviving Rites of Passage"