"Somatization & BodyTalk"
…how to work through patterns of avoiding emotional & psychological distress…
WHAT IS SOMATIZATION? WHAT IS BODY TALK? AND - WHAT DOES ANY OF IT HAVE TO DO WITH YOU?
Before we get deeper into all of these questions and more, let me introduce myself:
“Hello everyone, my name is Brighde, and I am a recovering long-time somatizer…”
Alright…in the name of transparency and honesty - I am probably more of a relapsing somatizer.
Well. Ok, so, maybe I never quite quit somatizing in the first place…but who’s looking?…
Chances are, if you have a body, you, too, have had first hand experiences of somatization. You may even - unknowingly - be an expert at it, like me…
And more than likely, everyone else you know or will ever meet is struggling with their own version of it.
SO - WHAT IS SOMATIZATION?
Among the many creative coping mechanism our complex human psyche has come up with in an attempt to survive and face up to life’s demands and traumas, somatizing may be one of our most frequently employed - and overlooked - “survival skills”.
“Soma” is Greek for “Body”, as distinguished from “mind” or “spirit”.
IN THE REALM OF PSYCHOLOGY, “SOMATIZING” IS THE UNCONSCIOUS ACT OF MANIFESTING PSYCHOLOGICAL & EMOTIONAL DISTRESS THROUGH PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS…
Let me back up a little; we can’t really have a satisfying talk about somatization without also looking at the phenomena of dissociation and fragmentation
- probably our psyches’ most prominent skill of coping with trauma - or, on a much milder scale, with plain old boredom & repetition…
Like somatizing, dissociating is something we are all familiar with, though not necessarily conscious of.
Dissociation is a state of hypo-arousal, a numbing down, as opposed to experiences of hyper-arousal present in states of anxiety, panic etc.
Dissociation per se is not a bad thing; pretty much all of us experience it on a daily basis, operating on autopilot as we are so much of the time. (Think of all those long, absent-minded car-rides without any recollection of the actual act of driving…)
It even can be used in beneficial ways, like in meditation and mindfulness exercises, when we want to dissociate from our “ego-identification” and merge with a more expanded state of consciousness.
On the other end of the spectrum, dissociation as serious trauma response can lead to more deeply ingrained pathologies like dissociative disorders…but I am no psychiatrist and will leave this topic to someone more qualified than I am.
This post will stay in the realm of what most of us can relate to, hoping to inspire a deeper sense of self-awareness & encourage a conscious approach as an alternative to our typically unconscious behavioral patterns.
DETOUR TO DISSOCIATION...
I want to look a little closer at our many common ways of dissociating as a coping skill before addressing our topic for today - because somatizing is one of the ways in which dissociation can show up in our lives.
DISSOCIATION IS AN ADAPTIVE STRATEGY OF REPRESSING UNCOMFORTABLE EMOTIONS, AN AVOIDANCE MECHANISM THAT CAN HELP US DEAL WITH PAIN, LOSS AND TRAUMA WHEN WE HAVE NO OTHER COPING SKILLS UP OUR SLEEVES TO WORK THROUGH EMOTIONS & EXPERIENCES IN MORE HEALTHY WAYS.
The spectrum in which this strategy is employed is wide, ranging from distraction and numbing down to full blown disconnect and leaving our body to the point of no longer feeling or identifying with it.
YOU COULD LOOK AT IT AS A CIRCUIT BREAKER - WHEN THE SYSTEM IS ON OVERLOAD, A FUSE GETS TRIPPED, EFFECTIVELY SHUTTING EVERYTHING DOWN. SOMETIMES, WE DON’T EVER THINK OF BRINGING IT ALL BACK ONLINE, GETTING STUCK INSTEAD IN A CHRONIC STATE OF DYSFUNCTIONAL DETACHMENT & DISCONNECT.
This is also how we end up with fragmented aspects of self - and we all have them.
Some of them are our so called “Shadow Aspects" - the parts of us we don’t like, that we think are not acceptable and so we try to distance ourselves from them & pretend they have nothing to do with us. We exile them into the “shadows” of our subconscious & ‘dissociate ourselves from them’.
(learn more in "The Bright Side of Shadow-Work")
But fragmented parts could also be “helpful & positive” aspects that we developed to cover over the fact that we don’t feel good enough or complete in ourselves - our public masks and personas that we like to identify with and project to the world, like “the helper”, “the lover”, “the competent one”, “the successful business man/woman/human”…
All these different parts of us have their own voices, carry their own beliefs & wounds, and more often than not, at least some of them are quite at odds with one another.
Not surprising then we find ourselves so darn confused and torn so often, is it…
UNFORTUNATELY FOR US, REPRESSED EMOTIONS DON’T REALLY GO ANYWHERE, OTHER THAN INTO HIDING IN THE DEEP, DARK RECESSES OF OUR SUB- OR UNCONSCIOUS, WHERE THEY WREAK A LOT OF HAVOC.
This often shows up in many of our very human traits, like:
bad body posture (i.e. rounded shoulders, hunched back, stiffness…)
blame & resentment,
trigger-happiness & over-reactivity,
fatigue & exhaustion,
brain-fog,
feeling checked out, ungrounded, numb, empty & dead inside,
anxiety, stress, OCD and depression,
obvious or subtle employs of self-sabotage,
and so much more.
Most likely, you can already identify with some of it.
IT’S LIKE LUGGING AROUND A HEAVY BACKPACK STUFFED WITH DEAD WEIGHT, IMPACTING OUR ENERGY LEVELS, MOOD, CREATIVITY, CAPACITY FOR INTIMACY AND AUTHENTIC CONNECTION AND EVERYTHING ELSE BESIDES.
Personally, I would already include all of the above symptoms as somatized - some of them can even already be measured as physiological changes at the level of body chemistry or structure.
But this is not where the buck stops. Eventually, the physiological changes will show up in more and more physical ways, often dumbfounding medical professionals with their lack of obvious pathological origin, but also potentially leading to fully manifest diseases like cancer, colitis, digestive issues, heart-disease and so on.
Some very common and every-day manifestations of somatized repressed emotions are showing up as
low back pain,
tension headaches,
tense shoulders & neck pain, “frozen shoulder”,
Irritable Bowel Syndrome,
Fibromyalgia,
Chronic Fatigue…
…this list is far from exhaustive, but you get the idea.
If you are feeling a little despondent at this point, please don’t - that is not the intention of this blog; I just wanted to give a little background to illuminate the pervasiveness of these issues, how to recognize them & why it’s so important to become aware of how they might be showing up for us in our lives.
But the important point, really, is - now that we’re aware, what do we do about it?
WHAT IS BODY TALK, AND HOW DOES IT HELP?
Like so many others, I am personally really feeling the squeeze life is currently putting us through. This intensification of energy is flushing out any left over old wounds, beliefs and our adaptive patterns of dealing with it all. With some awareness and skill, we can work with this energy consciously and intentionally to clear out any old baggage that’s only holding us back from fully stepping up into this next cycle of evolution waiting for us.
For example, I am noticing more and more clearly in which ways I am still operating from outdated models of avoidance and unconscious behavior. Increasingly subtle, yes, but big enough still to affect me on many levels - because they are now being put under the magnifying glass of higher consciousness until they become absolutely impossible to ignore!
I am noticing how often I find my way to the fridge, staring at nothing, when I really want to stay put and write.
How consistently I somehow find myself on YouTube when I have a million other things to do;
getting up to make fresh tea, when my mug isn’t even empty yet.
And recently, I have had to realize how absolutely ingenious I am at completely drowning out and ignoring my body screaming at me for attention…because it’s what I’ve been doing my whole life - pushing through, no matter what!
The Art of Avoidance in action!
So, here we go - I will continue outing myself, using my current experience as an example of how to use Body Talk, and why it’s so important…
My hope is that you will be able to recognize your own patterns and gain some helpful insights and tools to use on your own journey of Self-Discovery and Self-Love.
LET’S GET INTO BODY TALK.
I call it that because…that’s what I do; I “talk”, not just to, but with my body.
I am acknowledging my body as a messenger, as a finely tuned antenna, picking up signals from my surroundings, from my emotional, mental & spiritual bodies, and translating them into…body language.
Just like learning any new language, we need to spend some time practicing before it starts feeling natural. Especially, we need to learn to really listen to our bodies, pay attention to every nuance, in order to fully learn how they constantly communicate with us.
OUR BODIES ARE AMAZING! THEY ARE SUBTLE AND RESILIENT AND RESOURCEFUL. BUT WHEN WE CONSISTENTLY TURN A DEAF EAR ON THEM, THEY ARE, METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING, FORCED TO AMP UP THE VOLUME AND START YELLING, THEN SCREAMING AT US.
A simple, straightforward example of body communication is when you get a small rock in your shoe; your body will send a signal of pain or discomfort from your foot so you can remove the rock and prevent injuring yourself. Easy. We all get that one.
But - what if we are not talking about a physical pebble, but an old, dissociated, utterly intangible, formless and soundless fragment of self that’s become lodged in a compromising position? How would our bodies try to alert us to that?
HOW DOES BODY TALK WORK?
Let’s make this one personal so it will hopefully make some sense.
I’ve been dealing with a hiatal hernia for I can’t even remember how long. It’s a condition where, when the stomach holds tension, it tends to pull up towards its only attachment on the spine…which, unfortunately, is located on the other side of the diaphragm. So what ends up happening is that the upper part of the stomach pushes up and bulges through the diaphragm into the chest cavity…rather uncomfortable, to be sure.
And mine has been flaring up again in the last couple of months.
While I did start paying more attention to my physical symptoms & addressing them with some nifty massage techniques (after several weeks of ignoring my discomfort, mind you), I conveniently forgot about the whole body communication part, busy & preoccupied as I was with working on all my business ideas…until it hit me over the head one day how much I was completely ignoring a big message trying to come in.
So, I sat with it for a while. Listening. Just tuning in to what I was feeling in my stomach area, on all levels.
It felt like nervousness. Pressure. Fear. Resistance. Anxiety.
I suddenly got the impression of a part of me just trying to crawl back up into the birth canal, uncertain and uncomfortable with “having to take it all in”, having to digest all of what life might throw its way… It felt like such a weighty responsibility, having to take its place as a major, contributing part of the whole…and so it really wanted to just get away from it all & crawl back into hiding…
That was a really surprising, interesting revelation - centering around big, old issues of lack of Trust - trust in self, in others, in life!
I didn’t get a clear sense of what age this aspect of me was, or if there was any one incident that caused it to split off, but it felt like teenage years and young adulthood.
The first time I remember becoming conscious of my symptoms was probably around the time I first tried starting my own business ventures in my 20’s & then again in my 30’s, a time when I kept savagely self-sabotaging any efforts towards those lofty goals - and when I was still dealing with severe dissociation (with many of the symptoms mentioned earlier), deeply seated feelings of unworthiness, insecurities, imposter syndrome, chronic fatigue…you name it. Very unhappy and challenging time in my life, to say the least.
Not surprising then that these issues should come up again for deeper examination & healing now, when I am seriously committing to my entrepreneurial journey, ready to take on my part more fully - and more visibly - than ever before.
Though I have worked through so much of my “baggage” already, and though my self-sabotaging habits have subsided to the point where I am actually able to function and progress in life, obviously there is still a fragmented part of me that feels scared of the prospect of stepping out into the world & taking on the responsibility of claiming my place in in the light of day - and it’s trying to keep me safe by acting up.
THIS IS IMPORTANT TO RECOGNIZE - NO MATTER HOW UNSAVORY WE FEEL AN ASPECT WE’RE DEALING WITH IS, THEY ARE, ALL OF THEM, JUST TRYING TO STAY SAFE - IN THE ONLY WAY THEY KNOW HOW. TRAUMA AND PAIN TEND TO SKEW PERCEPTION…THESE SPLINTERED PARTS OF US ARE LITERALLY FROZEN IN TIME, UNABLE TO SEE OUR CURRENT REALITY OTHER THAN THROUGH THE FILTER OF THE EXPERIENCE/BELIEF THEY ARE STILL STUCK IN.
So - instead of trying to just get these parts to clear the heck out and leave us alone already, we need to re-connect with all of our fragmented aspects and get them to communicate and co-operate together, as one, cohesive unit.
JUST LIKE EVERY ORGAN & EVERY CELL IN OUR BODY IS SUPPOSED TO WORK TOGETHER AS ONE WHOLE, CO-CREATIVE, UNIFIED BEING, THE SAME IS TRUE FOR OUR PSYCHE - AS WELL AS FOR OUR SPIRITUAL, MENTAL, EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL BODIES.
Back here in my experience, I am doing my best to remember to just be present with my body. My emotions. To keep listening. Especially when my stomach tightens up into a fist again, making it hard to breathe deeply and eat comfortably, I become still and present with it.
I want to let my fearful younger self know that I am here, that I care about how she feels.
I talk to her, showing her how far we have come since those difficult old days, how much better and more beautiful our life is now.
I ask her what she needs from me to feel safe.
I ask her to join me on this new adventure I am on, because I need her to be with me, to join forces with me, and I want to share this exciting new life with her.
And again, I ask and keep asking what she needs to feel safe now. What she really wants and needs from me.
And then I listen for the honest answer, willing to find ways of meeting her needs in real time. And to be patient with her, as she learns to open up and trust me.
After all - I haven’t exactly shown up for her all these decades, have I! On the contrary - I’ve pushed her away and negated her viewpoints and desires…I can see why she wouldn’t trust me or have faith in me, or want to join my team…
This takes time and consistency. And yes, it’s so easy to forget, in the hustle of daily life and responsibilities.
And yet - if you were to meet the Love of Your Life - wouldn’t you make every effort to make quality time in your busy schedule, to make space in your closets and in your heart?
Wouldn’t you find ways to prioritize this relationship and to balance it with the rest of your life? Wouldn’t you want to listen and hear their story, their perspectives, their feelings? And wouldn’t you love them completely, warts and all, because you’ve come to meet and know them heart to heart & soul to soul?
(I’d like to think I would…unless, off course, I were still operating from a dissociated state, prone to fall prey to the sneaky kung-fu moves of self-sabotage…)
Don’t you think you are worthy of such deep & unconditional Love, too? That you are beautiful and fun to spend time with, worth getting to know inch by inch? Will you not commit to this most intimate and rewarding of all Love Affairs - with Self?
That’s the real question I have to keep coming back to, as I, like most everyone else, inevitably will find my priorities and attention straying, seduced by the importance of work, the opinion of others, laziness - and beneath it all, a deep discomfort of just being still with myself without distractions.
It’s a spiritual meditation practice in motion - and often, our most challenging edge.
STEP BY STEP RE-CAP
There are many ways of working with our inner aspects of self, many ways of being present with our bodies, many ways of releasing & healing stuck emotions. I recommend trying out different approaches & finding the ones that work best for you - and this may change over time.
Here is the Bare-Bones Outline of my personal process, as well as some other suggestions to try - if this calls to you, play with it, adapt it and make it your own - and remember to have fun with it!
Breathe, center, become still, be present with your body.
Let your attention settle lightly on the part of your body you feel called to & listen to what’s present here; sometimes, it’s an emotion or a mental disquiet you sense first - if so, congratulations!!! You are paying attention, hearing your body whisper before it has to shout! Sometimes it’s a physical sensation, a pain, or a manifested concern - this typically shows up when we have been ignoring the more subtle messages for long enough.
Just stay present & ask for more insights- what’s the energy, the emotion, the feeling telling you? Let the answers just bubble up to the surface, don’t try to search your mind. You might get an image, a movie playing out in your imagination, or you might get an inner knowing, or a sentence or word dropping into your mind…keep breathing and let the insights find you.
See if you can get a sense of how old this aspect of you is; why it’s feeling this way; what happened around that age? Can you remember when you first started feeling this way? What’s the core belief behind the emotion?
Start a dialogue with your inner self. What does it want to tell you? Is it angry with you? Scared? What does it need and want? How can you help it feel safe?
Let any emotions rise to the surface and find ways to express them - let the tears flow, scream, howl, punch pillows, shake & dance & rock & roll…find ways to dispel the stuck energy kinetically & with your voice!
Write down your body’s messages, its needs. Come up with concrete ideas of how to address those needs. Commit to yourself!
(In my case, I got a strong sense that, what would help my inner teen feel safe & supported in moving forward with me, is to just be as present as possible with how I am truly feeling in each moment, to acknowledge if there is uncertainty, lack of trust etc, and to really anchor in to both - my Higher Vision & also my present situation/feelings; to come up with solid plans and outlines & to be really clear about why I am doing certain things, where I see this leading etc, and to communicate this to my doubting inner being. This feels like creating a safe space & a process to lean into and learn to trust. There is a plan, a vision…For so much of my life, I’ve lived from my right brain, floating in creative ideas but often, not actually showing much inspired follow through…my inner being needs to feel that there is someone now taking charge, someone who seems to know what they’re doing and why, and who can adapt and flow with whatever life throws at them…that’s what makes my inner being feel safe & supported enough to come out of hiding…)
Other healing modalities can greatly help you with this process - there is no lack of choices! Intentional bodywork & energy work with a skilled practitioner is always great - our unexpressed emotions energetically get stuck in our cells, and they can absolutely be released using touch & vibrational healing, breath work, sound healing, movement etc. It even happens quite frequently spontaneously during just regular massages, showing up in various ways such as intense heat and profuse sweating in the area worked on, emotional release, memory flashes, runny nose, coughing, restlessness etc. Yoga, Dance, Qui Gong & other movement therapies are amazing at helping us release energy & get back in touch with our bodies. Be creative & curious!
And off course, it helps tremendously to work with the assistance of a qualified therapist/practitioner who can help you hone in on dissociated & shut down aspects of self. It is often incredibly challenging to do this work by ourselves - even for those of us who are actually teaching it! Often, these emotions are buried so deep we literally can’t access them without outside help, never mind know how to release and re-align it all.
And of course,
if you feel you’d like some help & assistance with getting in touch with your stories & emotions, ready for a deeper exploration, transformation & healing, I am here for exactly that - check out my Spiritual Guidance & Transformational Coaching Sessions & Courses, my in-depth Soul Purpose Blueprint Readings,
or get in touch with me at brighde@awakenedhearth.com if you have any questions...I am looking forward to connecting with you!
Brighde is a Writer with a love for dark chocolate and the mystical side of life. She firmly believes every aspect of this curious Journey on Earth can be improved with a steaming mug of good tea, an open heart and mind and a grounded connection to the higher vibrational realms of Spirit inherent in everything. With a background of almost 30 years of working in the Healing Arts and Bodywork, her current focus is on facilitating deep inner transformation, growth and healing through one-on-one Intuitive Guidance and Coaching Sessions as well as on-line & in-person Courses and Workshops. Your can find out more about her work at www.AwakenedHearth.com.
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