“The 7 Mysteries of Relationship”, Part I
…introduction to the Power of the 7 Essene Mirrors…
Welcome to this introduction to the 7 Mysteries of Relationship, the magical maze of mirrors that hide, distort or reveal, depending on how we look at them and how deeply we dare to peek…
If you felt drawn to the title hoping to read about romantically inclined Relationships, you may be a little disappointed at what you find in these pages - although this is certainly a part of what we are here to explore.
More than that, however, we will be taking a closer look at anything we have a relationship with in life - money, parents, work, status, the “outer world”, you name it.
And most importantly, we will get to the point of all of this looking at our reflections to be found in all of these relationships - the uncovering of the unconscious relationship we have with Self…and Life!
How well do we really know ourselves, understand ourselves, love and support ourselves in all the ways that matter most? And why is this so important in coming to understand, love and shift the world and reality within and all around us?
If this kind of relating - way beyond the notions of romance and all the way into the deepest intimacy with Self and Life - still sounds intriguing, read on, courageous traveller! I welcome you to join me on this journey into the Mysteries in plain sight before and all around us.
What are the Essene Mirrors?
The Essenes were one of three major mystic Jewish sects, flourishing between the 2nd century BCE to the 1st century CE. They were a splinter group that distanced itself from the traditional lines of Jewish thought, operations and teachings as well as from society at large.
The Essenes resurfaced to the light of modern awareness with the discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls in 1946, which are believed to be Essene religious documents. Jesus is often thought of as having been an initiate in the secret teachings of the Essenes before setting out on his own as a traveling healer.
The teachings of the Essene Mirrors have become popular since the 1980’s, thanks to the work of scientist and mystic explorer, Gregg Braden. Basically, they postulate that our inner state of development will always be reflected back to us by seven types of external relationships - thus giving us perfect mirrors for self-reflection and awareness to help us realize more aligned, harmonious states of being.
These ancient premises are reflected not only in our modern, commonly called ‘New Age’ beliefs, like the Law of Attraction - which teaches that the quality and frequency of our thoughts, beliefs and feelings is creating our outer reality - but also in newer sciences, like Quantum Physics and Psychology.
In the realm of human psychology, Freud and Jung explored in depth the phenomena of the ‘unconscious mind’, the ’shadow-self’ and ‘projection’; their work has become a bedrock foundation for today’s field of psychoanalysis, stating that our unconscious and subconscious mind (old beliefs, wounds and programming), rather than our conscious will, is what is directing and creating our life experience.
The unconscious mind includes our ‘shadow-self’ - all of the dissociated, unwanted & unhealed aspects of our personality, as well as the Collective Unconscious.
Freud and Jung claimed that, due to the extreme pain and discomfort looking at our own unloved parts would cause, the human psyche, quite ingeniously, unconsciously and automatically, projects itself outward and onto others, and can thus now be liberally judged, blamed and ostracized outside of itself, making it feel better and superior by comparison.
The more inwardly insecure, wounded and unaware we are, the more we tend to project and judge.
In Carl Jung’s own words,
“Projections change the world into the replica of one’s own unknown face.”
“All the contents of our unconscious are constantly being projected into our surroundings….”
Why are Mirrors so important - and magical?
All of these perspectives and teachings point us towards the same conclusion - the world is our mirror, and for those with eyes to see and a heart and mind courageous enough to reflect upon, own and integrate what we observe, the relationships we have with whom and what we encounter in our lives can give us precious clues as to what we carry hidden so deeply inside of us that we have been comfortably numb and blind to it thus far.
And - if we truly take in the significance of these blind spots, our unconscious beliefs, as the undercover playwrights that conjure and project our personal dramas onto the movie-screen we call our lives…well, it becomes obvious why making the unconscious conscious is so desirable; why it’s well worth the discomfort of ripping off some band-aides and blindfolds on our way to healing our ability to see and understand more clearly.
If we are the ones creating our world, it is within our means to re-create it more wholesome and healed; as we acknowledge, heal and transmute our pain, we transform our lives, including the world we live in - personally and collectively.
As Jung said: “The best political, social, and spiritual work we can do is to withdraw the projection of our own shadow onto others.”
If this is too modern for your liking, try the ancient, timeless wisdom of Taoism, in the words of Lao Tzu:
“Would you like to save the world from the degradation and destruction it seems destined for?
Then step away from shallow mass movements and quietly go to work on your own self-awareness.
If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself.
If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself.
Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.”
What else could I possibly add to that? Mirror, mirror on the wall, you’re the most potent healer of all…
While I am on a roll with such powerful wisdom from the masters through the ages, I will finish out this chapter in the poetic voice of Rumi:
“As you live Deeper in the Heart, the Mirror gets clearer and cleaner.”
The Seven Mysteries of Relationship
Let’s take a closer look at the 7 Essene Mirrors individually and let them return to us some clarity of vision and a practical understanding of how to use the reflections all around us to reclaim our most authentic, empowered, free and joyous version of Self - by coming to know ourselves, inside and out.
These Mirrors start with the most obvious and become increasingly more subtle. Sometimes the insights stare us right in the face, at other times we will have to look closer, like a mystery detective on the hunt…if frustration or impatience loom, please remember that you could have fun with this, instead.
What would Sherlock do…? No doubt he’d advise us, “It’s elementary, dear Watson, elementary.”
Well then. Let’s proceed to break things down to their elementary nature and follow their trail…
1. Mirror of the Moment
(Cause and Effect)
This Mirror reflects back to us who we are in the moment.
Casual as well as more intimate relationships, interactions and circumstances happening each moment of our lives give us clues about the energy we are sending out into the world.
In other words - if you smile at your mirror, the mirror smiles right back at you. If you frown…you know what will happen. It’s elementary.
So - pay attention to your everyday encounters and interactions. What’s the quality you experience the most? Do you find that idiot drivers keep cutting you off in traffic, annoyingly slow check-out lines keep delaying your progress, people are rude and unwelcoming or dismissive of you or get on your nerves?
Or, does everyone wave and smile at you on your walks, do random encounters delight you with light hearted banter or compliments, can you see the sun shining even through the clouds and rain?
And, if you get just quiet enough inside of you - can you pinpoint the attitude you are holding within you that you see reflected back to you in your environment?
We can take this mirror even deeper, all the way to our deepest pain-points and fears.
How do you feel about your job, your career, your work environment, boss, co-workers…? Do you look forward to starting your work day, or do you have to drag your feet, anticipating depressing, antagonizing or even abusive situations?
How about your closer, more intimate relationships - how do you feel around those you love or interact with the most? Do you feel unconditionally loved, supported, respected, or discarded, undervalued, unsafe…you name it?
While some of these scenarios may be more or less obvious (i.e. I got out of bed on the wrong foot this morning and have been stumbling about ever since…), others - experiences that keep repeating themselves with regularity and intensity - may provide more of a challenge.
Let’s call on Sherlock Holmes and his magnifying glass; here are some potent questions you can ask yourself to get to the bottom of what’s causing those kind of deeply hurtful and unpleasant reflections:
‘How is this making me feel?’
‘Can I remember when I first felt this way?’
‘What kind of belief must I carry in order to create such a mirror?’
‘What is the lesson offered to me in this situation?’
Awareness is the first key to transformation - without conscious awareness, we are operating on auto-pilot, our unconscious stories creating our lives. With awareness we can take back our power to choose how we want to live, feel and create!
I’ll leave you to ruminate on this mirror with this powerful quote by Lao Tzu:
“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”
2. Mirror of Judgment
(What we judge, we attract)
If you have examined your mirrors, and you cannot see how the reflection you witness could relate to your current beliefs in the moment - superficial or deeply held - then you may want to examine if you could possibly be holding a judgment around the thing or behavior that is showing up in your life.
Do you encounter people and behaviors you find simply unacceptable rather more often than you’d like to?
Are you familiar with the saying, ‘You will continue to attract what you judge until you no longer judge what you attract’?
Attune yourself to that all too familiar inner, scandalized voice that typically sounds something like this: “I can’t believe anyone could do such a thing/be like this,” or, “This person is so … (fill in the blank),” or, “they should be ashamed of themselves.”
When you become aware of this voice, this is your cue to stop your thoughts in their tracks and call on Sherlock to help you start investigating their origins.
Any judgment of another reflects a rejection of traits we deny in ourselves.
As Carl Jung said:
“Remember, everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves.”
This brings us right back to the mechanics of projection - anything we do not or cannot acknowledge in ourselves we project outwards onto others. We need only look around in our world to see this at play, both within our personal lives as well as on the global stage of the collective.
How else could we have experienced atrocities to the magnitude of the WW2 Holocaust? Or of racism, homophobia or any other events or mass hysteria that call out scapegoats to take the blame for any number of ‘depravities’ we would rather not have to look at within ourselves?
By the way - did you feel the bile rising along with some judgement around any of the above? Perhaps with a thought like, “How could this be my mirror?? I would never be racist/judgmental like that…”
Heed the inner judge that’s speaking even here…separating yourself from and passing judgment onto others, be they what you might label bigots, racists, anti-semite or what have you. Discernment is one thing. Judgment quite another.
This mirror, like the one before it, can get rather subtle and may need some deep soul-searching to arrive at some helpful insights around our own beliefs.
Often, we tend to overcompensate, sometimes to an extreme, in order to keep our own impulses, desires and traits repressed and out of sight. Which, in and of itself, may become a clue we can follow to its origins. We often inherit these kinds of rigid beliefs from our family or culture, religion or peer group.
Case in point: we may believe that putting our own needs first is ultimately selfish; we may become the martyr, the people pleaser in the name of making everyone around us happy first, denying our own needs, preferences and desires. And then feel viciously put out and disgusted with anyone showing any kind of self-centered behavior, because we so adamantly deny it within ourselves…;
quite probably, this example feels rather close to home, doesn’t it? Who doesn’t know an ultimate do-gooder, a selfless, sacrificial martyr, or hasn’t tried to be one? Look deeper - there are many more such cases where this one came from, one a wide spectrum between glaringly obvious to exceedingly subtle…
“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.” - C.G. Jung
We’ll continue going deeper and ever more subtle in our explorations of Mirrors 3 through 7 - read “The 7 Mysteries of Relationship” Part II here
And of course,
if you feel you’d like some help & assistance with getting in touch with your stories & emotions, ready for a deeper exploration, transformation & healing, I am here for exactly that - check out my Spiritual Guidance & Transformational Coaching Sessions & Courses, my in-depth Soul Purpose Blueprint Readings,
or get in touch with me at brighde@awakenedhearth.com if you have any questions...I am looking forward to connecting with you!
Brighde is a Writer with a love for dark chocolate and the mystical side of life. She firmly believes every aspect of this curious Journey on Earth can be improved with a steaming mug of good tea, an open heart and mind and a grounded connection to the higher vibrational realms of Spirit inherent in everything. With a background of almost 30 years of working in the Healing Arts and Bodywork, her current focus is on facilitating deep inner transformation, growth and healing through one-on-one Intuitive Guidance and Coaching Sessions as well as on-line & in-person Courses and Workshops. Your can find out more about her work at www.AwakenedHearth.com .
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