Heeding The Voice of Authenticity, VII

Judgments

Welcome back to this 12-part series of Journal Prompts to help you hear your Authentic Inner Voice and find your Calling and Purpose. If you have missed the introduction in Part I, you can find and read it here.

7. What Do You Judge In Others?

So far, we have been looking to the glimmers of light, the Authentic Spark that speaks to us directly from our Souls.

In the following prompts, we will be searching for increasingly hidden ways of identifying our Authentic Voice - the ways in which we repress and hold ourselves back. By examining what we are trying to hide from ourselves and the world, we can return to our Inner Truth through the back door…

What we judge in others can give us valuable insight into what we’re denying expression within ourselves. These judgments are often handed down the ancestral and cultural lines or through peer groups and may have been unconsciously or consciously adopted when we were young. Or they may be more personal topics irking us.

Quite often, we can find that our judgment of certain behaviors, attributes, beliefs etc have their origin in something we are strongly repressing within ourselves. If we grew up around strong religious opinions that sexuality is depraved and unnatural, for example, we may be unconsciously repressing our own physical desires; anyone who dares to flaunt their sensuality openly becomes an irritating thorn in our sides.

Judgment stems from an overcompensation - we are trying so hard to pretend that we are ‘good’ and ‘upright’ citizens beyond reproach, doing the right things, wearing the right clothes etc…so that everyone, including ourselves, will know that we are ‘not that type’. It’s hard to repress our true nature, however. We will always pay the price for it, one way or another.

Taking a closer look at what we judge in another can possibly show us what we might be repressing and denying ourselves. To illuminate this point, following are some more common and obvious examples in which this unconscious pattern can raise its ungainly head:

perhaps we have learned to always put others first, denying our need to nurture ourselves - and therefore, anyone putting themselves first or indulging themselves looks extremely and intolerably selfish and hedonistic to us…

Or maybe, seeing others enjoying an easy, abundant life annoys us to no end, since our own life is all about work and struggle and responsibilities (which, off course, in the eyes of societal norm ‘proves’ that we are good, respectable kind of people…). But maybe, somewhere deep down and in secret, our authentic self would love to take vacations and relax out in nature more often.

Or have the time to write that novel, to be an artist, a creator….

Or be able to be that lighthearted, easygoing and playful person enjoying lots of dates with strangers and spontaneous surprises…if only we had the money/time/luck/good fortune…

If you find yourself judging anything or anyone, look closer: is there perhaps something being reflected back to you that you do not wish to see within yourself?

If I judge someone because they are ‘different’ - be it skin color, beliefs, sexual orientation, dress code what have you - maybe I secretly feel different, inferior and like an outsider inside… and if so, am I maybe attempting to make up for it by trying to fit in so hard I get uncomfortable around anyone who does not…? Or, does it perhaps make me feel like I ‘fit in better’ than that obviously strange and peculiar person with the green hair, and therefore I get a rewarding sense that I belong where they do not… ? This path of questioning is an invitation to witness and uproot any false persona masks we may be wholly unconscious of wearing, effectively hiding our Authentic Self…

Psychology is an obscure and many-splendored thing - there is seemingly no end to our innate ability to hide, splinter, deny, dismiss and dissociate from anything too painful to look it straight in the eye…

For the sake of finding and retrieving all aspects of our Authentic Self, however, it is well worth the temporary discomfort of looking at our judgments and opinions with pure and naked honesty. what we find might be a whole lot more beautiful and wholesome than we may have expected…

Journal Prompts:

make a list of the things that you judge in others (e.g. inconsistency, lack of integrity, inconsiderate behavior…)

these traits in the positive are most likely very important and dear to you - turn the judgments around and see if you can find how you prize and embody the essence of these positive traits in yourself (e.g. punctuality and reliability, consistency and being considerate of others…)
now consider your true motivation behind your ‘positive’ traits & actions - are you trying to please others, fit in, show your competence etc…? Even when these traits are innate and an authentic aspect of self, the motivation is the clue as to whether we are still operating from a place of overcompensation and avoidance of self, or if we are coming from a truly authentic place of self-expression…
-> how may you be using the positive traits that you cherish to overcompensate for those old beliefs? (E.g. are you perhaps a mite too rigid in your adherence to punctuality? How consistent are you in showing up for yourself? Remember - we are aiming at fully authentic expression; if there are still aspects of defensiveness, righteousness, rigidity etc. in your behavior, it is an indication of overcompensating for an inner pain-point that needs loving attention and healing before your fully authentic self can shine…)
if you are judging something, it may indicate that an old belief is still blocking your fully authentic expression - find that ‘story’…
(e.g. ‘being different from others is unsafe/makes me a target for attack & exile….’)
in which ways may you be showing aspects of the traits that you judge? (E.g. are you judging littering and environmental pollution, yet perhaps are polluting your own mind with negative, judgmental thoughts about others? Do you perhaps lack the consideration to ask what personal pain may motivate someone to act certain ways, before harshly judging their actions? Could it be a bit selfish to want everyone to conform to your ideals and standards so that you do not need to feel uncomfortable? Play the devil’s advocate to yourself to uncover what may still be tripping you up at times…this takes a lot of honesty, courage and compassion for yourself, but the rewards of inner freedom and lightness are worth every bit of initial discomfort - pinkie promise!)

Join me in the following Posts in this 12- step series, where we will continue unveiling the layers to reveal the beautiful, unique expression of our most Authentic Self…