…bringing Resoluteness to New Year’s Resolutions…

Another New Year, another go-around for setting high-minded intentions and resolutions for an, as of yet, blank slate of twelve unclaimed months spreading out invitingly before us, tendrils of promise and hope seeping outwards and ahead from anticipating minds and hearts…

This year, I am really feeling the potency and fragility of it all, more so than any other turn of the clock before. It may have something to do with the intense inward pull I’ve been experiencing lately - and I don’t seem to be the only one feeling drawn inside by this insistent gravitational pull of the psyche. Many people I talk to find themselves in this same energy, wanting nothing more than to hermit away and be still.

I am no astrologer, but apparently the heavenly bodies are providing us with fertile vibes for virile bouts of self-reflection right now. I advocate for making use of it to clear old ground before jumping ahead to the new.

True, I am an extreme introvert at the best of times, quite used to hanging out in my inner caverns any time of year; and yet, there is an alacrity, a sense of nearing completion and shifting ground in the air right now that just feels different and incredibly potent.

Have you been feeling it, too? What is wanting your attention so much you are irresistibly swept up in the need to seclude and stay internal? If you can relate, do you give yourself permission to quiet down and listen?

What is surfacing within me is bringing up fecund questions.

Questions like, with all our individual and collective experience of annually plotting fervently passionate and idealistic New Year’s Resolutions - only to find ourselves slinking away shamefully when, almost inevitably, we witness them crumble, peter out or smothered by old habits and complacencies - why should this year be any different?

What keeps this vicious cycle of avoidance and self-sabotage so incredibly nourished and powerful that I would succumb to the vining, seductive snares of old habits, again and again, instead of taking an empowered stand for my New Self, for the New Reality I desire?

And - what can I do differently this year in order to shift this pattern, for good?

I invite you to explore these kind of questions with me and make room for a different way of being as we start this New Cycle of growth; I invite you to become an increasingly conscious Soul Gardener this year.

If you’re with me, let’s start by hoeing the ground with tines of reflective inquiry!

1. What does my Soul intend for me to embrace this year?

Have you taken the time yet to deeply reflect on your intentions going forward?

If not, become quiet now and listen to what is calling your name…listen to your Future  Self sending you clues and nudges across time and space about where you are headed on your Soul Journey - and how to ‘get there’.

It’s always a good idea to reflect back on the previous year, or years, and subtly hone in on anything that does not feel aligned or desirable any longer, and search for the deeper reasons for why we have been holding on to them thus far.

From there, it is often easy to see what we could change, what needs to come in to replace the old. Once this new intention is born, hold it lightly and reverently - it contains nothing less than the seed potential for your Dreams come true!

What is the Essence of your intentions? What is the big ‘Why’ behind them?

Pay attention to sudden lightning bolts of insights and ideas; to what lights you up, makes you break out in irrational, full-body smiles, letting you know the fuse to your future has been lit and could go off any moment now with fireworks of awe and splendor.

Capture this feeling, bank it, fan it, nurture it so it becomes a self-sustaining flame to guide and transform you on your way…

Also, remember to take inventory of all the amazing ways in which you have grown, the lessons you have learned, any way your life may have shifted and changed for the better. Even if it looks to you like little progress that seems insignificant in the bigger picture of what maybe did not go according to your plan or intentions, give yourself credit for any willingness to persevere in the face of any challenges.

Love yourself enough to feel the gratitude for everything - the way you faced and overcame obstacles, any expanded viewpoints and understanding you gained, any strength you notice you have developed because you navigated whatever life threw at you…own it! You deserve your appreciation and respect!

2. What is still holding me back?

Once we have become clear about what our new intentions and the motivations behind them look and feel like, it’s time to tend to our gardens. Before we can plant the fragile new seeds, it serves us well to dedicate ourselves to becoming intimately familiar with the weedy old stories still rooting in our hardened, compacted soil, siphoning space and energy and nourishment.

This current theme of inward focus is greatly fostering such tender explorations into the layers of self-awareness. Hold your dreams and intentions softly in your heart and dare to sit in inner silence long enough, patiently and courageously enough to feel and sense any inkling of doubt or fear sprouting in the darkness of your subconscious.

Here you have the root cause of any potential self-sabotaging patterns undermining your confidence and resolve. If you keep holding yourself back from doing and being what you feel is right for you, there must be an aspect of you that still believes it would not be safe for you to do so.

Understanding your underlying story and pain is important for you to move towards creating a brand new reality, based on truth and alignment instead of the old lies your subconscious mind keeps telling you. So take your time with this and go exploring through layers of fossilized bedrock until you hit your original pain-point.

Perhaps it’s the belief that you will never amount to anything, that you are destined to be a failure and remain stuck in the life you know forever more; or that you are inherently broken inside and unlovable, doomed to dysfunctional relationships or a lonely life of spinsterhood…

Whatever your stories are, spend time examining them.

3. How can I heal patterns of self-sabotage?

Adopt the nurturing, patient, compassionate and loving qualities of the receptive, feminine principle and lean into your feelings; open up to your emotions, unsettling as they may be, and allow them to tell you their story, their viewpoint.

Emotions are only ever messengers - treat them with respect by paying attention to the messages they convey to you, straight from your unhealed, frightened Inner Child Self - your unconscious inner saboteur, trying to stay safe by holding on to the old-familiar for dear life.

Allow emotions to flow through you - it’s the only way to transmute them into the fluffy richness of fertilizing compost!

Breathe into your feelings and beliefs to assist them in uprooting and releasing their hold on your psyche.

Give your inner child a voice - ask it questions, make it feel safe and seen and heard and loved and appreciated. In other words - be fully present with yourself as you are traversing the darkness and uncertainty your inner child has been living in for so long. Don’t be afraid of it - it’s only fear of fear itself you are coming up against.

Come up with practical steps and strategies that will help your inner child trust you and feel like it is a part of your decision making process. What would make it feel safe stepping forward into your big vision? Keep communicating with your inner aspects and gently nudge out of your comfort zones, inch by inch if need be, with full integrity, awareness and respect for wherever you are at in this process.

4. How can I nurture my New Self along the way?

Develop a habit of tuning in to your New Self, your Dream Reality; keep coming back to the Essence of what you are creating and want to embody; feel yourself merging with it. Become it. Behave, think and feel as though you are already fully living and embodying this Essence. Do this often - you could even set a timer to go off several times a day, reminding you to come back to your Inner Presence.

If any doubts and fears, old behaviors and patterns rear their heads as you keep diligently tending to your garden, great! Now you get a chance to weed them out, aerate your soil, free up space for the new to grow and add valuable fodder to your compost pile - a chance you would not have gotten if they had not made themselves visible to you.

Stay lovingly present with yourself and any old stories re-surfacing, and welcome any opportunity to get to know yourself, your unconscious programming, and the chance to re-wire yourself for growth, expansion and abundance in all areas of life.

If it gets heavy going at times and your emotions threaten to turn your rich loam into an oxygen-stifling bog, try softening your contracted edges and leaning in to whatever it is you are feeling.

Instead of feeling narrowed in by the intensity of focus on the pain or discomfort, open up and expand around it. Feel your energy getting bigger, vaster, and invite your Higher Self to join your little gothic pain party.

Just that. Don’t try to focus away from your pain or make it disappear. Just invite your Spirit Rooted Self in to your space and make as much room for it as it wants to inhabit. Let it co-mingle with the core of your pain, anger, fear or whatever it is you are witnessing rising within. Breathe!

Then watch the magic happen as you lose all sense of  feeling ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and become aware that it’s all just energy in motion, flowing and swirling through you.

Bliss and agony can co-exist - if you forget to label and judge, forget the meaning you have given them. In this state of non-judgment and acceptance, transformation happens effortlessly.

And then, create space to wait, patiently, as your garden finds its own perfect timing for germination, sprouting and growth; harvest time cannot be rushed - trust the process, trust yourself.

Be the gardener full of love and appreciation for her magnificent, inspired, flowing co-creation with nature.

What do you want to take with you into the New Year?

What and whom are you ready to leave behind?

I am intending to keep playing around with the above four steps of Soul Gardening. I’d love to hear if you feel inspired and playful, too.

This coming year feels like a fertile one, full of potential and unexpected surprises. I am excited about leaving room for wild flowers to take root in my cultivated soil and to flourish with unanticipated gifts of bright splotches of color, adding magical creations and plot twist to my original design.

I want my garden to breathe life and lust and more than just a touch of wilderness medicine and edginess.

I desire to apprentice myself to the Great Unfolding within and all around me and to lean into the confident safety offered only by fully trusting in the Divine - without any attachment to outcome, timing or procedure.

My mantra for this coming year is Allowing.

With a capital A.

And a big YES!!!

Yes to life, yes to myself, yes to my dreams!

And to our collective Journey back into the Heart of Soul.

I am looking forward to us all joining hands and hearts along the way…

Brighde is a Writer with a love for dark chocolate and the mystical side of life. She firmly believes every aspect of this curious Journey on Earth can be improved with a steaming mug of good tea, an open heart and mind and a grounded connection to the higher vibrational realms of Spirit inherent in everything. With a background of almost 30 years of working in the Healing Arts and Bodywork, her current focus is on facilitating deep inner transformation, growth and healing through one-on-one Intuitive Guidance and Coaching Sessions as well as on-line & in-person Courses and Workshops. Your can find out more about her work at www.AwakenedHearth.com .

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